A Beautiful Mess

Valentine’s Day

Photo by Rinck Content Studio on Unsplash

My husband is not big on Valentine’s Day. Honestly, he’s not big on any holiday. He has a hard time remembering things like that. So it’s up to me to plan things if I want something special and up to me to remind him of them. This year for Valentine’s Day we attended a Marriage Rendezvous put on by Dan Seaborn at Winning At Home. Dan is a pastor who teams up with counselors to help people with their marriages and with their families, so it’s no surprise that these marriage conferences are a big deal. The team goes out of their way to make the night a lot of fun!

Bull, my husband, made it home early. He’s a truck driver, so planning thing on a Friday night is always a crap shoot. This weekend, he arrived home in the afternoon, so he had plenty of time to shower and change into real clothes instead of his high-visibility work shirt and grungy cargo pants, which are his everyday work uniform as a flatbed truck driver. That’s kind of huge! Often if I plan an event for a Friday night, he’s either flying in by the skin of his teeth and we end up going with just a touch up of deoderant on his part and still in his work clothes, or he misses the even entirely and I end up going by myself. There was no way I was going to attend a marriage event solo, so I made sure to include requests of an early arrival home in all of my prayers that week, and God came through.

There was a fun time of getting in the spirit of a marriage conference with love songs sung by the Rendezvous band, a group of seriously talented musicians that includes several members of our own church’s worship team. It was a participation event, so there was singing along, clapping, and even some dancing going on. I mean if you’re going to take your Valentine’s night date night and attend a marriage event, the least they can do is make it worth your while. They song love songs that spanned a wide range of decades and music styles, so there was a little bit of something for everyone.

There was a brief survey of the audience to see who had been married the shortest amount of time. In this group, that was 6 months, unless you counted the one guy who stood up and proudly announced that he had never been married! Now that took courage, my friend. Not just because it’s got to be awkward attending a marriage event when you are unmarried, but also because announcing that to the audience and Dan Seaborn resulted in a lot of jokes at his expense–all told in love and good fun, of course! That was followed by a brief survey of the audience to see who had been married the longest amount of time. In this group, that was 66 years, with quite a few couples married in the 40-60 year range!

The actual speaking portion of the event was based on Dan’s book The Necessary Nine. We were given the nine areas necessary for keeping longevity in a marriage and asked to rate ourselves on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being “not doing so good” and 10 being “I’m doing awesome at this.” My husband rated himself at a steady 5, mostly because that meant he wasn’t really screwing things up and that he had improvement but also because he’s a big fan of the middle of the road (no pun intended.) I’m not sure where to rate myself. It’s hard to know sometimes. I think our natural tendency is to be very generous when we’re rating our own success at something. It’s easier to be honest about rating how you feel someone else is doing. And it’s not like asking your spouse about how you’re doing in key areas of your marriage is an easy or natural thing to do.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day and championing marriage, I’m going to give you a brief rundown of the nine areas we covered and my reaction to them. Take a minute and rate yourself. See what you think about some of these areas and where you might be able to intentionally invest so that your marriage can reap the benefits.

Establishing a cherishing attitude. Does your spouse ever feel like you value something else more than you value them? Would your spouse say, “I wish he/she cared as much about me as they do about ______________”? What can you do to make sure your spouse feels valued, appreciated, and cherished?
Pursuing financial security. One of the leading causes of divorce is money issues. Pursuing financial security isn’t about being rich. It isn’t about having retirement savings. It isn’t even about being debt-free. It can be about those things, and those things might be goals you agree to work toward in your relationship. But ultimately, it’s about knowing how your partner feels about money. What makes them worried? What makes them feel secure? How can you handle conversations about money in a way that support them when they feel scared or uneasy? It’s focusing on the fact that each of you comes to a marriage with your entire childhood behind you, and that can change how you interpret conversations and how you respond to money stress.
Discovering sexual satisfaction. This is the number two leading cause of divorce. You have to be able to have an open and honest conversation about your expectations in this area and come to agreement on how you can meet each other’s needs. It’s an awkward conversation, but it’s a necessary conversation.
Spending time together. This one kind of goes along with cherishing. Are you taking time to be together? Do you do things together that you enjoy so that you can spend more time together? This might include taking up a hobby together or learning to do something the other person enjoys doing so that you get more of that quality time together.
Developing genuine friendship. You want to move to a place of “confidante” friendship where you are all in. You want to make sure that your partner feels comfortable sharing intimate things with you and that you extend unconditional love toward them so that a deep, meaningful friendship can develop. Season of marriage come and go, but eventually the kids will be grown and gone and you want something foundational that you can grow from at that point.
Valuing physical attraction. If you divorced today would you join a gym? Would you change your appearance in order to attract someone new? If the answer is yes, you might want to consider making those changes now. Give your spouse the best of yourself. Take care of yourself so that you can spend a long life with them. Pay attention to your health. And just like sexual satisfaction is important, physical attraction is important. It shows respect and care to your partner to take care of yourself the best way you can.
Chasing emotional connectedness. This is about sharing your feelings and experiences with each other. Are you emotionally connected? Are you treating their family as if it is your own? Do you care about the things that they care about? Part of becoming one is embracing what your partner brings to the relationship and caring about those people they care about and those things they care about. It can make a huge difference!
Guarding home harmony. We spend a lot of time and money making the outside of our house look good. It’s called curb appeal, but how much time and effort are we putting into making the inside of our house look good? Are we striving for peace? Are we bringing joy and love and peace and the fruits of the Spirit with us when we come home? Or are we putting on a good show for outsiders while the people inside our house suffer?
Spiritual fusion. This is the foundational peace. You need to rely on God to make these things happen. Your spouse is a broken, fallen human being just like you are. They can’t meet all your needs and expectations. They can’t heal your hurts. They are going to screw up. They are going to let you down. The only person who can fill all the empty places in your life is Jesus. Are you pursuing Jesus and letting Him love your spouse through you? Are you worshiping together? Are you praying together? Statistics show that 1 in 2 couples will get divorced in America. Only 2% of couples pray together. But of that 2% the divorce rate drops from 1 in 2 to 1 in 1,056. The couple that prays together, stays together.

So how are you doing in these areas? Are you knocking it out of the park? Are you barely making it on the scale? Pour some intentionality into your marriage. Invest in it. You’ll be amazed at how good your relationship can get when you make an intentional effort to improve in any of these areas. It’s a process, and we’re all working toward it. And if you can, buy the book, and use it to get ideas on how to pour into your relationship.

My husband and I really enjoyed our night out. After the event, we went to IHOP for some food and had a good talk about some of the topics discussed and how we were doing. Sometimes it’s just good to get away, to focus on your marriage, and to realize that while Valentine’s Day comes only once a year, your spouse deserves to be loved 365 days a year!

Open Hands

Mark 11:25

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Sometimes when we read a verse like this we picture God, arms crossed, saying, “If you don’t forgive, I’m going to withhold forgiveness from you.” But that isn’t a biblical picture of God. God does not withhold blessings from us. We do not earn our forgiveness. It would be impossible for us to do so. Instead, God freely offers forgiveness to us through His Son Jesus Christ. The forgiveness has already been offered. It is already there. We just need to receive it.

So what does this verse really mean? When you have something against another person, when your heart is holding onto an offense, you don’t have room for anything else. Your hand is tightly closed around the offense you are holding on to. If your hand is closed and I try to hand you a gift, you can not receive that gift from me. Why? Because your hand is already full of whatever it is you’re holding on to. The gift is there. The gift is freely given, but you can not receive it.

Forgiveness works the same way. Forgiveness is there. It is a gift. It is freely given. But if you are busy holding onto an offense, you can not receive the gift of forgiveness for yourself because your hand is already full with offense. Let go of the offense. Forgive. Then your hand is open. You have released the offense you were holding on to. Now your hands are empty and ready to receive the gift God is holding out to you. Now you can receive the forgiveness He has been waiting to give you.

Father, I thank you that you offer forgiveness to me freely. You do not withhold any good thing, but you have blessed me already with every spiritual blessing. I see now that when I am busy holding onto offenses and feelings of unforgiveness, I can not stretch out my hand to receive anything you are trying to offer to me. Help me open my hand, release my feelings to you, and receive from you what you are freely offering to me. Help me, Father, to forgive. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Sisterhood

As women, we are created for relationship. We are relational beings. That’s why women are better at communicating. We are high context communicators, meaning we not only pay attention to the actual words being said and their meaning, but we also pay attention to body language, tone of voice, context of the conversation, etc. We are better at emotional intelligence. We have a desire to group together. When women are faced with stressful or dangerous circumstances, the run toward others and seek out community in order to feel safe. The Bible tells us that the desire for community is a good thing: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10). The Bible is filled with stories of community and friendship and relationship.

So let’s take a look at some ways we can use our friendships with other women to glorify God. Let’s look at the story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi was born in Bethlehem. She lived there with her husband and her two sons. Then famine came to Bethlehem, so Naomi and her family moved away to the nearby country of Moab. Moab was not just a move to another city. It was a move to another country. Moab was across the Dead Sea from the kingdom of Judah, where Bethlehem is located. Relations between Moab were on again off again. Sometimes Moab seemed friendly to Israel. Sometimes it did not. Whatever the situation at this time, Moab had food, and Naomi and her family were able to go there to earn their living. Naomi’s sons married Moabite women: Ruth and Orpah. Then tragedy struck again. Naomi’s husband and her sons died. Blessings had returned to Israel, so Ruth sought to go back to her hometown of Bethlehem. So Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah set out on a journey back to Bethlehem.

When you’re looking for sisters along your journey, find someone that you can see God in.

Naomi was afraid that in her grief she was asking Ruth and Orpah to leave everything behind. She was concerned that maybe her actions were inhibiting Ruth and Orpah from living life to the fullest, and she was afraid that their sense of obligation to her and their own grief might be compounding the issue. So she told them both to go home to their own families. Orpah left. She saw wisdom in Ruth’s speech, and she wanted to return home. This wasn’t a road she could walk with Naomi. There’s nothing wrong with that decision.

There are going to be times in life when we have people in our circle of sisters that just can’t walk the road with us, and that’s okay. Ruth, on the other hand, decided to stay with Naomi. Why? She saw in Naomi the work of God. Ruth was from Moab. The Moabites did not serve God, but Ruth knew from watching Naomi and from living in her household as her daughter-in-law that the God that Naomi served was different. She knew that this was a God worth serving. So she begged Naomi to let her stay. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1: 16b-17).

Ruth saw in Naomi something of God that she wanted. She recognized the presence of God in Naomi’s life. She recognized the blessing of God in Naomi’s life. When you’re looking for someone to share your journey with, find someone who has the presence of God in their life.

When you’re looking for sisters on your journey, find someone going in the same direction.

This seems like a no-brainer. Of course if you’re traveling with someone else, you want to be going in the same direction. Duh. But often in life we don’t think about this when we’re choosing our relationships. Not ever relationship is heading down the same road that you are. You’re going to find yourself with different goals from your circle of friends occasionally. That’s okay. It’s part of life. When you’re walking a particularly difficult road or you’re heading toward a set goal, finding someone who is headed in the same direction or is walking the same road allows you to have fellowship along the way.

Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harms.” We want to walk our path with people heading to where we are going. We want to find those with attributes we desire, those with the same vision, those with the same purpose. This is what Proverbs 27:17 is talking about when it says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

In the story of Ruth, both Ruth and Naomi were grieving. Both Ruth and Naomi were seeking blessing. Both Ruth and Naomi were journeying toward God. They were able to walk the path together, encouraging each other and comforting each other. Ruth saw in Naomi character traits that she wanted. She recognized God’s work in Naomi, and she recognized that Naomi was heading in the same direction that she herself wanted to be heading in.

When you’re looking for sisters to share your journey, find people who are farther ahead than you are.

This part seems like it contradicts the previous statement, but really it’s the people who have walked this road before you, who are a little bit farther along than you, that can provide encouragement in the tough moments. People who have walked this path before you know where you’re heading. They know the road. They know the pitfalls and the temptations. They know the feelings you’re struggling with. They can tell you what they learned when they were walking this road. They can encourage you to keep walking.

In the story of Ruth and Naomi, Naomi was farther along the road to trusting God than Ruth was. Naomi knew the laws God had put in place. She knew how God could provide for them through a kinsman redeemer. She knew the way to Bethlehem, having traveled that road before. She knew the hardships they would face when they got back, and she knew what to do about them. It was Naomi who pointed Ruth in the direction of Boaz’s fields. It was Naomi who told Ruth what to do when she met Boaz. By listening to Naomi’s advice and counsel, Ruth found a husband and became a part of the line of David and ultimately of Christ.

That’s why it’s so important for us as Christian women to be Titus 2 women as well as for us to seek out Titus 2 women to mentor us. Titus 2: 3-5 says, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Naomi taught Ruth the ways of God. She taught Ruth how to follow God’s laws, how to seek out the help of their kinsman redeemer, and how to make sure she was provided for.

We all need mentors to help us rise to a higher level. We need mentors to help us meet our goals. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” We need wise women around us, advising us on how to reach our goals for our lives. Likewise, we need to give wise counsel to younger women or women who are coming up the path behind us so that they can reach their goals.

This is what sisterhood is all about: helping each other live out our lives as active and productive members of the body of Christ, walking this path together, and learning from each other. So who are your sisters? Do you have someone to come along side you on your journey? Do you have someone encouraging you to meet your goals? Do you have accountability with a sister in your relationship with God? If not, seek these sisters out. I promise it will enrich your life.

Kingdom of God

As Christians, we know that the Kingdom of God is our goal. When we received salvation, the Bible tells us that we were “rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the kingdom of the Son God loves.” (Colossians 1:13). Often when we think about the Kingdom of God, the picture that comes to mind is heaven. We look at the Kingdom of God as being someplace out there. Maybe we picture it floating in the far off above us. We think about reaching the Kingdom of God after we die. We think about it as a place of the future–our final destination, but in John 3:2 we find John the Baptist preaching “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!” What does that mean? What is the Kingdom of Heaven or the Kingdom of God? How is it at hand? What does it mean to repent?

The word kingdom at its most fundamental level means the king’s domain. The dictionary defines domain as: 1) an area or territory owned or controlled by a ruler or government 2) a specified sphere of activity or knowledge. So the Kingdom of God is the area controlled by God or the sphere of God’s activity and knowledge. When we see the Kingdom of God this way, a few things become immediately apparent. 1) God’s Kingdom is eternal. Everything that is true about the Kingdom of God has always been true, is true now, and will always be true. 2) The Kingdom of God is filled with all the attributes of who God is in the fullness of their expression. 3) God wants to invade our space. The Kingdom of God is not just about life after death, but its about life with God right now.

In Genesis, God sets up His kingdom here on earth. He does so in the Garden of Eden. He creates a place under His complete control and authority. It is filled with everything that He is. He creates man and woman to live in this garden and to exercise authority over it on His behalf. They are His representatives within this portion of His kingdom. Adam and Eve know God in the fullness of who He is. Their experience with Him is not limited. Also, they possess certain abilities that we now lack. They can see things differently. Genesis tells us that there are two special trees in the center of the Garden of Eden: the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time seeing “life.” I can see the effects of life. I can define life by the things it produces, but I can’t see life itself. I definitely have no concept of what a fruit of life might look like. Neither can I see “knowledge.” I can read and study and gain knowledge, but I can not see it with my eyes. Yet, the Bible makes it clear that Adam and Eve could see these things. They recognized them with some sense that we no longer have access to.

2 Corinthians 4: 18 tells us: “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Adam and Eve could do this naturally, but we can not. The effects of sin make it difficult for us to see the unseen…to see the eternal. When they ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they removed God as their source of information, knowledge and wisdom, and they replaced that source with their own awareness, knowledge and understanding. Before sin, we had life–the presence of God within a human being. After sin, we had death–the absence of God within a human being. Before sin, God was our source of knowledge. We were full of our experience of Him, and we relied on Him for everything. After sin, our knowledge of evil made us aware of our own emptiness and lack while our knowledge of good made us seek to fix it with our own power.

So what were we to do? We had removed ourselves from God’s kingdom and found ourselves in another kingdom altogether. The answer was: repent. We need to repent in order to get back to God’s Kingdom. What do you think of when you hear the word repent? Do you see an image of a wrathful, angry God? Do you get a picture of the list of things you do that you shouldn’t do? Do you picture yourself turning around and going in another direction? The word repent in Greek is the word metanoia, which means to “change your thinking.” When you change your thinking about something, you see it a different way. You have a revelation of its true meaning, and that can change everything.

Let me give you an example. Take a look at the story of Elisha and his servant in 2 Kings chapter 6 verses 8-22. We see that Israel is under attack. The king of Aram keeps making plans of where to attack Israel, but God is revealing this information to Elisha. So Israel is able to avoid the attack. Now the king has found out that it is Elisha giving this information to Israel, so he seeks to take out Elisha. He sends a vast army to camp out around Elisha’s house. 2 Kings 6:14-17 “Then he (the king of Aram) sent horses and chariots and a strong force there (Dothan where Elisha lived). They went by night and surrounded the city. When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked. “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” The servant of Elisha could only see the situation with his physical eyes. He saw the army of the king of Aram, and he was afraid. He was thinking about things with his own limited understanding, but when Elisha prayed that his eyes be open, the servant saw with his spiritual eyes from God’s perspective. He changed the way he saw the situation. He repented.

We need to repent of the way that we see the world from our own limited viewpoint and knowledge. We need to begin to see things the way that God sees them. When we access the Kingdom of God this way, our behavior will naturally change. We will do all the other things we think of when we think of repentance. We will turn around. We will go another way. We will make a choice in line with God’s Word and His will. We will leave our sin behind. We will find the path that leads us back to God. Why? Because we have changed our thinking. We have changed our perspective. We now see things a different way.

Jesus followed John the Baptist proclaiming “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!” He wanted us to see from a new perspective. He wanted us to understand that the Kingdom of God isn’t out there somewhere at some future time. It is right here, in us, right now. Jesus taught His disciples to pray that “Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” The word translated “come” really means to come forth or to emerge. We are to pray that God’s Kingdom emerges. It’s God’s life and attributes flowing into us, living in us, and then flowing out to the world around us. That’s how the Kingdom of God emerges and comes forth on earth in the same way that it emerges in heaven. We have to change our thinking about the kingdom of God. We have to change our thinking about who God is and what He wants to do. We have to repent in order to see the Kingdom of God invading our space the way that God wants it to invade our space.

Jesus gave us many parables about the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Heaven. He says the kingdom is like a pearl, or it’s like a field, or it’s like a mustard seed, or it’s like yeast. The commonality in all these parables is that the Kingdom of God is something that grows. It expands. The parables of what the Kingdom of God are like give us a taste of God’s fullness. We need to take that taste and chew on it and swallow it and digest it. We need to fully experience the Kingdom of God now in our own lives, and we need to work toward expanding its reality in our lives and in the world around us.

So repent. Change your thinking. Shift your perspective. Get a taste of what God’s kingdom looks like. And work to help it emerge in the earth as it does in heaven.

Meeting Jesus

Sometimes as Christians we wonder why other people don’t believe in God the way that we do. We know the power of God working in our lives. We see the creative power of God in the world around us. It seems so obvious to us! We know the love of Jesus, and we can’t figure out why others don’t want that. The answer is simple: They don’t know Jesus. They’ve never met Him.

You can know a lot about a person without ever meeting them. Think about it. We know a lot about the leaders of our nation. Their vital statistics (birth date, education, career, etc) are online for the world to see. We can go to the websites dedicated to their work and find out what they think about key issues. We can listen to them speak in speeches or through books or other papers they have written. We can feel like we know them. But the truth is that if we’ve never met them in person, never invited them into our home, never shared a meal with them, we don’t really know them. We’ve never really met.

The same is true with Jesus. We know a lot about Jesus. There are books dedicated to finding the historical Jesus. We have his words and his works and his “vital statistics” in the Bible. We can read commentaries and listen to stories about Jesus’ life and teachings. We can attend church and hear sermons dedicated to Jesus’ continuing work. We might feel like we know Him because of all this. But the truth is that if we’ve never met Him for ourselves, if we’ve never spoken with Him directly, never invited Him into our lives, never shared intimacy with Him through prayer and experience. We never really met Him, and we don’t really know Him.

That’s why it is vital for Christians to share their testimony. Our testimony is our statement of meeting Jesus. It’s how we came to meet Him. It tells how we’ve come to know Him as a close friend. It tells the amazing story of His work and blessings in our own lives. Our friends and neighbors might argue with books about the historical Jesus. They may not accept the Bible as a true or accurate book. They may argue with miracles. But when they hear your story and see your life, how can they argue with that. You are the living proof standing right in front of them.

Have you ever shared your testimony with others? Can someone look at your vital statistics from the time you were young to the time when you met Jesus and see a difference in your life? Are you an example of a person who knows Jesus as a close friend?

Some of us have amazing testimonies. Our lives have been changed so dramatically from who we used to be to who we are now that they are a glowing example of the power of God to change lives. Others of us may feel that our testimonies aren’t effective because we didn’t have such a dramatic change. If you’ve grown up in the church, if you’ve never had a miraculous encounter, if you’ve never committed what we would consider to be “huge” sins, you may feel like the change in you is non-existent. You may think your testimony is no big deal. But that can’t be farther from the truth. A person who has known God intimately from the time they were young has just as strong a testimony as the person who met him when they were fully immersed in a life of heinous sin. How? Because their life demonstrates the blessings, abundance, and protection that come from living with God.

Think of the bad decisions you were saved from making because you had God’s wisdom at your fingertips. Think of the dangers you were kept from by following God’s path. Your life should look different from everyone around you simply because you have always followed God closely or at least tried to follow him closely, while everyone else was living for themselves. Sometimes that testimony of quiet consistency with God is just as powerful as the story of an addict rescued from addiction.

So don’t sell your testimony short. You have stories to tell. You have intimate knowledge of Jesus, of who He really is. We overcome the enemy with the word of our testimony. So share your testimony. Introduce your friends to Jesus…not to who others say He is…not to religion…but to Jesus, the close personal friend of yours. Invite them to sit with Him, to talk to Him, to meet Him. Your life is proof that they will never be the same.

An Unlimited Supply

Matthew 18:21-22 (MSG)

At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.

We don’t like to forgive people. For some reason, we think forgiving people means that we are accepting their behavior toward us. We think it is denying our pain or our feelings. We think it lets them off the hook…that they don’t have to apologize or make things right. But that isn’t what forgiveness does at all. Forgiveness simply removes the chains that bind us to that person’s actions. When someone hurts us, our offended feelings and our pain bind us to that action. We are trapped by it. We can’t stop thinking about it or dwelling on it. That person and their actions now take up an inordinate amount of space in our thinking and in our lives. That’s not what we want. We don’t want our lives consumed by our feelings of pain, nor do we want to be bound to a person who has harmed us in some way.

The answer is to forgive. Forgiveness breaks the chain. It puts the person and their actions back in their place, removing their ability to control how we think, how we feel, how we respond to the world around us, etc. When we forgive, we set ourselves free. Hurting people hurt people. Unforgiveness doesn’t make them see the error of their ways. It only compounds the hurt. Forgiveness hands the hurt over to the only one who can do anything about it: God. It frees us. When we forgive others, they see God in us, and that might very well open the door for a work in their hearts that changes them from a hurting person who hurts others to a healed person who brings healing to others.

This is why Jesus told Peter to forgive those who offend you seventy times seven. Not because you’re supposed to keep track of the number of times they do you wrong. Not because there is a limit to forgiveness. Rather to illustrate to him exactly what Jesus is offering. He’s offering abundant freedom. He’s offering unlimited healing. He’s offering us forgiveness for ourselves in an unlimited supply. As His followers, we should be prepared to do the same to those around us. So forgive those who offend you. Don’t keep track. Offer yourself abundant freedom. Offer yourself and others abundant healing. Offer forgiveness.

Father, I thank you that you forgive me for all the times I have offended you and all the times that my sin and my actions have broken your heart. You offer me healing for my hurts and freedom for my soul. I want to be like you in all things, God. Help me to offer the same forgiveness and healing to others. Help me to bring the pain to you, allow you to heal it, and prevent it from bursting forth to hurt others. I want a life of abundance, so I choose to forgive just as you do. I know you will make all things right in the end, so I break the chains that keep me under the control of the people who hurt me. I don’t want to be a slave to pain anymore. Thank you, Father, that with your Spirit living inside of me, I have the power to do this by forgiving. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Under Our Feet

Micah 7:18-19 (AMPC)

“Who is a God like You, Who forgives iniquity and passes over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He retains not His anger forever, because He delights in mercy and loving-kindness. He will again have compassion on us; He will subdue and tread underfoot our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.”

God is unique. He is a God who keeps a remnant for Himself. No matter how stubborn or disobedient the people of Israel were, God was faithful to His covenant. He kept a remnant of faithful people for Himself. God is merciful and loving. His anger does not last forever.

Not only does God show mercy and kindness to His people, He utterly destroys sin. He subdues it. He treads it underfoot. He has the ultimate victory over sin, and so through Him we also have the ultimate victory over sin. When we allow God to remove our sins from us, He puts them in the depths of the sea. They are washed away. They are gone. They have no more power over us.

That’s how great our God is. He is great enough to forgive. Great enough to remove the memory of our sin. Great enough to wash them away. Great enough to share His victory with us, His people. His remnant.

Thank you, Father, that you are an awesome God. There is no one like you. There is not other god who forgives sin, who tramples it under foot, who casts it into the sea, who shows mercy and kindness to us, even when we don’t deserve it. Thank you. There is nothing I could ever do to merit that kind of mercy and kindness. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Are You Keeping Yourself From the Promised Land?

Numbers 14: 19-23 (MSG)

“Please forgive the wrongdoing of this people out of the extravagance of your loyal love just as all along, from the time they left Egypt, you have been forgiving this people.” God said, “I forgive them, honoring your words. But as I live and as the Glory of God fills the whole Earth—not a single person of those who saw my Glory, saw the miracle signs I did in Egypt and the wilderness, and who have tested me over and over and over again, turning a deaf ear to me—not one of them will set eyes on the land I so solemnly promised to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with such repeated contempt will see it.“

The Israelites never seemed to learn their lesson. No sooner did God perform a miracle on their behalf than they forgot all about the miracle and all the miracles that proceeded it and began to grumble and complain and accuse God of wanting nothing but evil for them. They looked on their past with rose-colored glasses, forgetting that Egypt was a place of slavery and oppression. They only remembered the food and abundance around them.

So when they experienced difficulty in the wilderness, instead of recounting all the ways God had saved them and provided for them up to this point and all the promises He had given them about what would be awaiting them on the other side, they recounted all the good memories of Egypt and claimed that God had brought them from Egypt just to kill them all. We read these stories, and we tend to look pretty negatively on the Israelites. We marvel at how stubborn and ungrateful they were in the Old Testament stories. We are sure that we would be so much more grateful if God would just split a Red Sea on our behalf or drop some manna from heaven for us to eat.

But the truth is that we are just like the Israelites a great majority of the time. We often forget the things God has done for us. We don’t remember the everyday miracles He brings our way. We forget the promises in His word that He will provide for us, that He knows what we need before we ask, that nothing is too big for Him to do on our behalf, and that His plans for us are all for good. Instead, we pray that if God would just do this one new thing for us, then life would be great! The truth is that God doesn’t owe us anything new. He has done more than enough by forgiving our sins. If He never did anything else on our behalf, we would still have an enormous amount to be grateful for.

So take a moment, and reflect on what a great miracle and gift forgiveness truly is. Take a moment to remember the everyday moments where God has provided, where He has protected, and where He has blessed you. Be grateful for those, and when you are done thanking Him for those things, see if you still have a list of things you’re asking Him to give you.

Father, I thank you that you are a patient God. You put up with our ungratefulness and our complaining and our constant requests. You don’t hold them against us, but you continue to forgive, provide, protect, and bless. Help us not take you for granted. We don’t want to be like the Israelites and test you and treat you with contempt. We want to enter into the promised land you have in mind for us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

A Geography Lesson on Forgiveness

Psalm 103:12

“as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Look a globe. A pretty remarkable thing happens as you begin to contemplate cardinal directions in the context of a globe. If you move your finger north from the equator and go up over the top of the globe, your finger will suddenly be moving south. If you move your finger south from the equator and go around the bottom of the globe, your finger will suddenly be moving north. That’s how north and south work on a globe. Eventually, you’re going to cross over a dividing line and be heading in the opposite direction.

Now look at east and west. If you move your finger east from the Prime Meridian, your finger will continue to go east. You can spin the globe as many times as you want. You will always be going east. There is no dividing line where suddenly you cross over and begin going west. The same is true from travel to the west. There is no dividing line where you suddenly cross over and find yourself going east. East and West never meet. They never cross. They are as far away from each other as you can possibly get.

The Bible tells us that this is what God does with our sin. He takes our sin and moves it as far away from us as it can possibly get. You can never cross over some imaginary dividing line where all your sin suddenly comes back to you. You can never cross over some imaginary dividing line where your sin becomes too much for God to handle, too much for Him to forgive. God will always forgive your sin if you repent, and He will always put it as far away from you as it is possible to go. It can never come back. You are moving in opposite directions. It is gone for good. You will never meet it again.

What a wonderful thought! Gone for good. Never to be seen again. That’s the power of God’s forgiveness.

Father, thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your great love for us, that you would sacrifice yourself as payment for our sin. Thank you that when you say you forgive, you mean it. You don’t forgive the way I do sometimes. My sin isn’t temporarily gone until I do the next wrong thing. It’s gone for good. It’s as far away from me as it can possibly get, and I will never see it again. Thank you, God, for this miraculous forgiveness that I can only find in you. Help me learn to forgive others that way as well. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Back Alley Rescues

Colossians 1:13-14 (MSG)

“God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He’s set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.”

Some of us have found ourselves lost in dead-end alleys or very dark places. Others of us may think that we would never end up there, but the truth is that all of our choices that go against God’s way ultimately lead us to dark and dangerous places if not physically then spiritually. Spiritually every path that doesn’t lead to God leads directly to death.

We were trapped in a pit of sin. We were lost at a dead end. No where to turn. No where to go. Going nowhere fast. That’s life without God. What a hopeless, bleak picture. But God….

God didn’t want to leave us in that state, even though it was our own choices that brought us there. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to provide an open door, a way out. When we accept the atoning work of Christ on our behalf, a door opens up in that dead-end alley. Light floods in. We have a new path, and it leads to a beautiful kingdom of light. No more death. No more hopelessness. We have freedom now in Christ.

Those sins that used to be our only option? There’s a new way now. We have the ability to overcome our old habits and our old way of doing things. We have help to make a better choice, to end up on a brighter path headed to a brighter future, and it’s all because God specializes in back alley rescue missions!

Father, thank you that you never give up on us. You are not content to leave us where we belong, suffering for our own bad choices. You want more for us. You provide a better way. I thank you that by accepting your Son Jesus and His death on my behalf I can be rescued from the pit of despair I was in and placed in a new place full of light and fresh air. Thank you for rescuing me. Help me to stay on the path toward you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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