Last night I had an interesting dream. I’ve talked about how lately I’ve been paying more attention to my dreams, trying to write them down, and praying about whether or not the dream holds any special meaning. I’m a pretty vivid dreamer. It’s not uncommon for my dreams to contain a lot of detail, a lot of color, and a lot of action. It’s not uncommon for me to have a pretty good memory of my dreams when I wake up that lasts for a long time. As a vivid dreamer, I have a bit of a hard time determining whether or not a particular dream might hold significance for my life.
This particular dream was no different. I didn’t wake up with the idea that this dream held any particular significance. I didn’t have an overwhelming feeling that this dream was special. I didn’t even wake up unexpectedly, which is supposed to be a sign that maybe the dream you were having had a specific meaning/message for you. There was really nothing special about this dream.
So why do I bring it up? Even though the dream didn’t seem special, a detail of the dream struck me as significant. Why? Because I dream this particular detail an awful lot. I see it pop up frequently in my dreams. It’s not really a part of the storyline of the dream. It isn’t a detail that seems to hold significance to the dream. It’s just a small, seemingly insignificant detail, that keeps cropping up, and I think that repetition alone might be enough to merit a second look.
Over the last couple years, I’ve dreamed a lot about my house. Sometimes the house in the dream is actually the house I live in. Sometimes the house in the dream is a house I’ve never seen before, but I know that it is the house I live in in the dream. No matter what house I’m dreaming about, though, over the last two years I have alternated between dreams where the ceiling caves in on me due to heavy rain and dreams where the floor has giant soft spots that result in holes going all the way through the foundation to the ground. Dreams about rain are supposed to signify blessings. I’m all for the idea of an outpouring of blessings that caves in the ceiling and results in widening my view and taking me to new heights! But what about those holes in the floor?
Turns out that dreaming about holes in the floor may mean that you’re dealing with difficulties, troubles, or uncertainties in the support systems of your life. In other words, the people you rely on, the foundations you trust in, they are crumbling away and proving themselves to be unreliable. Well, that certainly rings true for me at this point in my life. This Job-like season of my life has resulted in the temporary loss of my children to foster care, the loss of my financial security, and the break down of my marriage. If that’s not a trouble or uncertainty in the foundations of my life, I’m not sure I know what is! This has been a 2 year season of ripping and tearing and shaking and sifting that I have felt completely unprepared for. It has definitely been a Job-like season, and in true Job-like fashion I have felt myself on the edge of alternating between feeling that God is being incredibly unfair and mean-spirited and having faith that God is still good and has a plan to all of this.
Job-like seasons in life come unexpectedly. They sneak up on us when everything seems to be going well. We have a year or years of incredible favor and blessing, and then suddenly tragedy strikes. And it doesn’t just strike once or twice, it seems to keep striking and keep striking until we reach the point that should have broken us…killed us….completely ended life as we know it….and somehow we are still standing and pushing forward. It doesn’t help in the beginning of a Job season to consider the story of Job. It doesn’t help to know that God was the one who instigated this season in Job’s life. It doesn’t help to know that the season is always temporary or that ultimately the season is going to result in a restoration of all that was lost and a double blessing on top of it. It just doesn’t help. I’m not sure that anything really helps. Job-like seasons are just not easy. They aren’t meant to be.
So why does God allow Job-like seasons in our life? I think it’s to point out the holes in our foundation. God has a plan of us. We know from Jeremiah 29:11 that His plan is for our good and not for harm: a plan to give us a future and a hope. God has a calling for each of us. He has a purpose that He wants to accomplish in our lives. Some of us are called to very high places indeed. If we knew the plans God had for little ole us, we would never believe it. We can’t see our own potential, but God can! God knows the things He has in store for us in the blessings department. God knows the things He has in store for us as far as our calling and our purpose and our legacy.
The Bible talks a lot about building. In Matthew 7:24-27, Jesus tells us that the person who hears His Word and does not put it into practice is like a man who builds his house on the sand. In Psalm 127:1, we are told that unless the Lord builds the house we labor in vain to build it ourselves. In 1 Corinthians 3:9-15, Paul talks about laying the foundation and how we each build on top of that in the hopes that what we have built will survive through the judgement of the last day. As any builder knows, the strength and stability of the building rests on the strength and stability of the foundation. Get the foundation wrong, and it doesn’t really matter how great a job you do on the building itself, it’s going to come out wrong. The leaning tower of Pisa shows us just how important a strong foundation is.
Job-like seasons test our foundation. They test the things we are relying on to keep us tall and strong and steady. God wants our life to be founded and anchored to Him. He wants us to rely on His character and His Word in order to whether the storms and trials of life. When our foundation is God, we can’t go wrong. We’ll have level places. We’ll have strong towers. We’ll be built on the solid rock. But what about when our lives are built on our own ability? What if we are depending on our job, or our spouse, or our family, or our friends to get us through? Well, if our foundation is anything other than God, then difficulties and trials are going to cause cracks and holes in the foundation, and if we don’t take care to notice those cracks and holes, our life is going to fall apart.
If you had asked me when this season started what my foundation was built on, I would have told you it was based on the Word of God. If you had asked me what I was relying on to get me through the storms of life, I would have told you that I relied on God. I would have said that God was first in my life. I would have told you that because I honestly believed that that’s how it was. And then the Job-like season struck, and I realized that while I had a pretty good lip service, I didn’t have a whole lot of action to back it up. The truth is that when this season struck, I ran to self help books and friends who could give me godly counsel. I ran to experts. I ran to encouraging words. I ran to God…..eventually. But I didn’t run to Him first. I didn’t pray first. I prayed after I had talked it over with everyone else I could think of first. I defined myself by what I did, by what role I filled. I found my worth in what I accomplished and what I had.
See what I mean? Holes in my foundation. Because the truth is no matter what the experts have to say about your situation, the only true expert on what is happening and how it’s going to turn out is God. No matter what kind of counsel and support your friends can give you, there will come a time when your friends let you down. Your spouse? They will let you down. They may even walk away at the worst possible time, leaving you feeling empty, unloved and completely broken. Your job? It can be lost. Your wealth? Can disappear in a day. These things are all temporary. They are all ephemeral. They make bad foundations.
But God!
God never changes. God never vacillates. God. Never. Fails.
Read that last line again. God never fails. Never. As in, Not. Ever. God is a sure foundation. He is the only thing that will still be standing and supporting you when everything else burns up in the fire. When it’s all gone….when everything you thought gave your life meaning is gone…when everyone you thought loved you is nowhere to be found….God is still there. And the truth is that I am not defined by what I do. When I was no longer a full time mom, I didn’t cease to exist. When I was no longer a dutiful wife, I didn’t shrivel up and die. When I was no longer actively involved in ministry, I was still me. I was still here. I was shaky. I was hurt. I was broken. But I was still here. I am here because God gives me life and breath. God determines the length of my life. He determines the number of days I have. God gives. And God takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord. And when everything I relied on to give my life meaning was suddenly stripped away, I saw just how far down on the list I had put God.
Job-like seasons of life have a way of doing that. They have a way of honing your vision so that the blinders are removed and you see just how honest you’ve been with yourself. They reveal the holes in your foundation like nothing else will. It feels unfair. It feels…well, I can’t even begin to describe adequately how it feels. If you’ve ever been through it, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s loss unlike anything you can imagine. And yet…. there is a blessing here. Because the fact is, that in this Job-like season of my life, God is giving me another chance. He is pointing out the holes in my foundation so that I can repair them. He is showing me my hypocrisy so that I can repent and correct it.
I can use this season to try to cover up my shortcomings. I can prop up my idols and continue to serve them. Or I can get to work and fix it. I can hand those shortcomings over to God. I can unveil my flaws and let the Master Builder make the needed repairs. I can pull down my idols and upend their altars and return to the One True God. That’s a sure foundation. It’s one that will never have holes in it. It is one that I can rely on no matter what kind of season my life is in. It’s a foundation that will propel me to higher heights than I could even begin to imagine.
So I’m going to God and asking Him about those holes in my dreams. What holes are in my foundation that He still needs to address? Am I believing a lie about myself? About my husband? About my life? About God Himself? Sometimes we believe lies about God that make us have a messed up view of who He is and how He works that can keep our lives from resting on the firm foundation of His character. God wants to fix our view of who He is just as much as He wants to fix our ideas on other things. Worshipping a false image of God is just as much idolatry as worshipping a false god would be.
I’m trusting that He will reveal the next bit He wants to work on with me. I have a lot of things that need to be sorted out. I have a lot of flaws that still need to be refined. I have a lot of wounds that need to be healed. And the beautiful part is that I know that if I hand those things to Him, He will be faithful to do what needs doing so that my foundations are repaired and never pose an issue again. He will do the best job, and the house of my life will stand firm. This Job-like season will eventually come to an end and the level of spiritual maturity I will be living at will far exceed where I would have gotten had this shaking season not come. So I’m looking to God to see what He will make of my life. And I’m trusting that when this season is over, I will have a double blessing and the restoration of everything that I have lost.
So how is your foundation looking? Have you paid attention to it recently? Have you hidden the holes in the floor with soft carpeting? Are you doing patchwork repairs rather than complete overhauls? If you haven’t had a Job-like season in your life yet, be prepared. One is coming. Take some time to seek God on the areas of your life where your foundation is a bit week. Hand it over, and let the Master Builder do His work. Your life is His masterpiece after all. And if you let Him work, you will be amazed at what He can do with the little you have!
A Beautiful Mess 