There are times in my life when I get discouraged about my spiritual walk. There is so much to do around the house and so much to do with raising children and homeschooling that I feel like I just sit down to pray after getting everyone to bed and I fall asleep myself. Cue that deceptive little voice that tells me God is disappointed in the fact that I can’t stay awake and pray for even a little while. These are the moments when I really really struggle. I feel like such a failure. I can’t seem to find the time to pray. Can’t seem to find the time to read my Bible. Can’t seem to find the time.
It can be extremely discouraging to feel this way. Life goes in seasons, and some seasons seem to be much busier than others. I know that I have a better day when I get time with God, but no sooner do I sit down to pray or read my Bible then there is some kind of commotion with the kids. Sometimes they climb all over me during my “quiet time,” and I find myself spending more time trying to keep calm than actually receiving from God. It’s times like these I think about taking a vacation to find some time with God. I think about going away to the mountains or joining the nunnery!
There are stories in the Bible about men going away to the mountains and communing with God. Abraham went to the mountain with Isaac to worship God. Moses went up on the mountain to meet with God face to face. David often went off into the hillside to commune with God. Even Jesus got away from the crowds to find time for God. When I look at these stories, I often feel more discouraged. When am I ever going to find time to get alone with God when I can barely find time to shower or go to the bathroom by myself?!
But then I came across a meme shared on Facebook by a friend of mine. It was the picture of a woman, harried and worn out, busily washing a sink full of dirty dishes. The caption talked about all the times men went away to meet with God, but then the narrative changed. The writer pointed out all the times that God met with women. You see, when the Bible talks about God or His angels meeting with women, they aren’t off by themselves in the mountains some where. They were doing their normal everyday life. They were working and taking care of things as women often do. It may take getting away for men to meet with God, but God comes to women where they are.
He met with Hannah while she was praying at the temple during her normal annual pilgrimage. He met with Sarah while she was working in her tent as Abraham was outside with the three strangers. He met with Mary while she was about her everyday work to tell her that she would carry Jesus. He met with Martha at her home while she was busy working and cleaning and preparing the meal. He met with the Samaritan woman while she was drawing water from a well. In each of these cases, He came to those women in their every day lives. He came in the midst of their normal chores. He didn’t ask them to take a pilgrimage or offer a sacrifice or get away to the mountains. He came to them!
And suddenly, my life didn’t seem so discouraging. If I can’t find a few quiet moments away from my every day work in order to commune with God, I can welcome Him into the tasks that I am already busy doing. I can pray while I wash the dishes or cook the meals. I can read the Bible in between homeschooling lessons or listen to it while I’m cleaning. It’s okay if the kids are climbing all over me while I try to get some morning quiet time. I can use it as an opportunity to teach them about the importance of seeking God’s face first thing in the morning. We can turn on worship music and greet Him together.
I’m going to try to be more intentional in my daily life. I’m going to welcome God into the busyness of my life. I’m going to welcome Him into the mess and into the craziness and into the hectic atmosphere of life with small children. There will be a day when they are grown, and I will have all the time in the world then to seek and pray. I am finding that out now with my children in foster care. I have plenty of time now to read my Bible. Plenty of time to pray. Plenty of time to watch sermons on TV or attend conferences. Plenty of time. And I miss the busyness of my life with children. I miss those ministry moments that I had in my daily life.
Whatever season you find yourself in, remember that God meets us where we are at. He meets us in the every day. He meets us in the mess. He stands at the door and knocks. All we have to do is let Him in.
A Beautiful Mess 