Sisterhood

As women, we are created for relationship. We are relational beings. That’s why women are better at communicating. We are high context communicators, meaning we not only pay attention to the actual words being said and their meaning, but we also pay attention to body language, tone of voice, context of the conversation, etc. We are better at emotional intelligence. We have a desire to group together. When women are faced with stressful or dangerous circumstances, the run toward others and seek out community in order to feel safe. The Bible tells us that the desire for community is a good thing: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10). The Bible is filled with stories of community and friendship and relationship.

So let’s take a look at some ways we can use our friendships with other women to glorify God. Let’s look at the story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi was born in Bethlehem. She lived there with her husband and her two sons. Then famine came to Bethlehem, so Naomi and her family moved away to the nearby country of Moab. Moab was not just a move to another city. It was a move to another country. Moab was across the Dead Sea from the kingdom of Judah, where Bethlehem is located. Relations between Moab were on again off again. Sometimes Moab seemed friendly to Israel. Sometimes it did not. Whatever the situation at this time, Moab had food, and Naomi and her family were able to go there to earn their living. Naomi’s sons married Moabite women: Ruth and Orpah. Then tragedy struck again. Naomi’s husband and her sons died. Blessings had returned to Israel, so Ruth sought to go back to her hometown of Bethlehem. So Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah set out on a journey back to Bethlehem.

When you’re looking for sisters along your journey, find someone that you can see God in.

Naomi was afraid that in her grief she was asking Ruth and Orpah to leave everything behind. She was concerned that maybe her actions were inhibiting Ruth and Orpah from living life to the fullest, and she was afraid that their sense of obligation to her and their own grief might be compounding the issue. So she told them both to go home to their own families. Orpah left. She saw wisdom in Ruth’s speech, and she wanted to return home. This wasn’t a road she could walk with Naomi. There’s nothing wrong with that decision.

There are going to be times in life when we have people in our circle of sisters that just can’t walk the road with us, and that’s okay. Ruth, on the other hand, decided to stay with Naomi. Why? She saw in Naomi the work of God. Ruth was from Moab. The Moabites did not serve God, but Ruth knew from watching Naomi and from living in her household as her daughter-in-law that the God that Naomi served was different. She knew that this was a God worth serving. So she begged Naomi to let her stay. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1: 16b-17).

Ruth saw in Naomi something of God that she wanted. She recognized the presence of God in Naomi’s life. She recognized the blessing of God in Naomi’s life. When you’re looking for someone to share your journey with, find someone who has the presence of God in their life.

When you’re looking for sisters on your journey, find someone going in the same direction.

This seems like a no-brainer. Of course if you’re traveling with someone else, you want to be going in the same direction. Duh. But often in life we don’t think about this when we’re choosing our relationships. Not ever relationship is heading down the same road that you are. You’re going to find yourself with different goals from your circle of friends occasionally. That’s okay. It’s part of life. When you’re walking a particularly difficult road or you’re heading toward a set goal, finding someone who is headed in the same direction or is walking the same road allows you to have fellowship along the way.

Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harms.” We want to walk our path with people heading to where we are going. We want to find those with attributes we desire, those with the same vision, those with the same purpose. This is what Proverbs 27:17 is talking about when it says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

In the story of Ruth, both Ruth and Naomi were grieving. Both Ruth and Naomi were seeking blessing. Both Ruth and Naomi were journeying toward God. They were able to walk the path together, encouraging each other and comforting each other. Ruth saw in Naomi character traits that she wanted. She recognized God’s work in Naomi, and she recognized that Naomi was heading in the same direction that she herself wanted to be heading in.

When you’re looking for sisters to share your journey, find people who are farther ahead than you are.

This part seems like it contradicts the previous statement, but really it’s the people who have walked this road before you, who are a little bit farther along than you, that can provide encouragement in the tough moments. People who have walked this path before you know where you’re heading. They know the road. They know the pitfalls and the temptations. They know the feelings you’re struggling with. They can tell you what they learned when they were walking this road. They can encourage you to keep walking.

In the story of Ruth and Naomi, Naomi was farther along the road to trusting God than Ruth was. Naomi knew the laws God had put in place. She knew how God could provide for them through a kinsman redeemer. She knew the way to Bethlehem, having traveled that road before. She knew the hardships they would face when they got back, and she knew what to do about them. It was Naomi who pointed Ruth in the direction of Boaz’s fields. It was Naomi who told Ruth what to do when she met Boaz. By listening to Naomi’s advice and counsel, Ruth found a husband and became a part of the line of David and ultimately of Christ.

That’s why it’s so important for us as Christian women to be Titus 2 women as well as for us to seek out Titus 2 women to mentor us. Titus 2: 3-5 says, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Naomi taught Ruth the ways of God. She taught Ruth how to follow God’s laws, how to seek out the help of their kinsman redeemer, and how to make sure she was provided for.

We all need mentors to help us rise to a higher level. We need mentors to help us meet our goals. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” We need wise women around us, advising us on how to reach our goals for our lives. Likewise, we need to give wise counsel to younger women or women who are coming up the path behind us so that they can reach their goals.

This is what sisterhood is all about: helping each other live out our lives as active and productive members of the body of Christ, walking this path together, and learning from each other. So who are your sisters? Do you have someone to come along side you on your journey? Do you have someone encouraging you to meet your goals? Do you have accountability with a sister in your relationship with God? If not, seek these sisters out. I promise it will enrich your life.