Correction

How do you handle correction? If you’re like most people, your response will depend on the context of who is giving you the correction and what the circumstances are. While correction may be easier to take from people who offer gentle correction, it can be hard to take from those we want to respect us or those who are very close to us or those who correct us in a harsh manner. But the fundamental truth of the matter is that at some point in our lives, whether we like it or not, we’re going to be corrected about something. The question is: how will we respond?

Proverbs is full of verses about accepting correction well.

• “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof (correction) is stupid.” (Proverbs 12:1).
• “Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.” (Proverbs 15:32).
• “Hear instruction and be wise, do not neglect it.” (Proverbs 8:33).

It’s clear that God wants us to accept correction well.

Here are a few of the ways we might respond to correction:

1. We might become defensive. If we hear correction that causes us pain, we might get defensive in response. We might put up walls, ignore the correction, or attack the person correcting us. We may justify our behavior. Getting defensive is usually a reaction. It isn’t planned. It isn’t the best way to handle correction. Defensiveness occurs in the eat of the moment when emotions are running high. It causes us to take offense. It holds us back from evaluating the instruction being offered and prevents us from making needed changes. It can set us up for developing a stronghold in that area of our lives. We want to be free people who free people, and that means not responding in a defensive manner when someone offers us correction.
2. We might deny that we did what we’re being corrected for. We might respond this way out of embarrassment for what we did. Think of Sarah when she was told that she would give birth to a son. She laughed. The Angel of the Lord heard her laugh and asked her about it. Immediately, Sarah denied laughing. She was embarrassed at the perceived correction, so she denied what happened. Denying that we need correction or that we did anything wrong is ignoring reality. You can’t evaluate the correction objectively or make necessary changes if you deny there is a problem in the first place. We want to be people of truth. We can’t do that if we are spending all our time in a state of denial.
3. We might regret that we got caught. This is the worst way to respond to correction. If we respond this way, we aren’t thinking about the correction at all. We know we were wrong, but we are more concerned with how uncomfortable we are right now while being corrected than we are uncomfortable at the idea that we did something in need of correction. Regretting the correction or taking offense to the correction rather than regretting the act that set it in motion primes us to have a seared conscience. If our conscience is seared, we can no longer hear the voice of the Holy Spirit. This is danger territory indeed! We want to be people who are sensitive to the movement of the Holy Spirit. We want to be quick to obey His promptings. In order to do that our conscience must stay sensitive to His voice. We need to respond correctly to our sin.
4. We might divert attention. If we don’t want to deal with the issue at hand, we might try to change the subject away from our correction. Anything to get that negative attention off of us! Diverting attention doesn’t address the problem. It definitely doesn’t change the problem. It just puts dealing with the issue off until a later time, and that later time may never come. We want to be people who are quick to deal with sin. We don’t want to procrastinate. We don’t want to be passive. We want to confess our sins quickly so we can be forgiven quickly. We can’t do that if we are trying to avoid the attention that correction brings our way.
5. We might have godly sorrow. This is the best response to correction. To have godly sorrow, we have to first listen to the correction being offered. We have to not react to that correction and instead to think about it, to accept it, to ponder it, and ultimately to agree with it. When we realize we’ve done something wrong, and we accept correction, godly sorrow shows that we regret our actions. This is the first step towards repentance. Then, we need to act on that godly sorrow. Godly sorrow should lead us to action to correct the problem. It is the response that leads to change, which is where we want to be. We want to be changed from glory to glory to become more and more like Jesus. We can only do that if we are willing to accept correction and learn from it.

The key to accepting correction well is learning how to respond instead of how to react. A reaction is instant. It happens in the moment. It is full of emotion. Reactions aren’t usually our best foot forward. Response, on the other hand, is thought out. It’s planned. It’s calm. Response comes when we take the time to press pause on our emotions, consider what has been said, and formulate how we want to handle the situation so we are at our best.

One of the things that might help when it comes to accepting correction is to remember that, generally speaking, correction comes from a person who wants to see you improve. That person may not offer correction in the best manner, but they care about you. They want you to be your best. Remembering this and believing the best about the person offering the correction helps you move past the negative emotions you feel in the moment. It helps you press pause and choose a response instead of a reaction. If you’re not sure of the motivation of the person correcting you, believe the best. It is always better to believe the best of the person than to take offense at the situation.

How we respond to correction from those closest to us is often how we respond to God’s correction. It’s hard to see our own flaws. It’s uncomfortable to be seen as the imperfect people that we are, to acknowledge our sin, and to face our worst behaviors. Correction is an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to look in the mirror and see what another person sees–to see what God sees. If we don’t like what we see, we’re given the opportunity to change.

Graceful acceptance of correction demonstrates a teachable spirit, a contrite heart, and humility. Psalm 51:17 tells us that God does not despise a broken and contrite spirit. He views it as an acceptable sacrifice. We are told to honor God by offering ourselves as living sacrifices. What better way to do that than to cultivate a teachable spirit, one that gracefully accepts instruction and seeks to progress!